


The Key To Your Heart

by chippakeet



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, Gay, John is a Mess, M/M, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-18 10:24:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14850989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chippakeet/pseuds/chippakeet
Summary: Hey, Disclaimer before I give a huge dramatic blurb! I personally don't ship a couple of the smaller ships, but I included them because 1. They're rare and 2. This is based off of a movie called Dan In Real Life. This story mildly revolves around the plot, but I fit each of the characters in the way I thought they should. So, most of the things I write aren't actually in the movie. Got it? Got it.John is one of the top-selling authors in the local newspaper column, and he felt as if his life seemed pretty basic and average. He hangs around the Schuyler sisters a lot, but when he brings up a family trip, a couple of minor issues rose to the surface. But when John is given a nudge (okay, more of a ginormous shove) towards someone named Alexander he met at a book store, will thinks run smoothly? Yes! That is, until he finds out that Thomas and Alexander were already a thing. What will he do now, with no one to go to?





	1. Yours Truly, John Laurens

The smooth round edges of the keys gleamed underneath the shedding moonlight. The computer shone onto his face and the wall behind him as the keyboard clicked at his fingers' command. Words were scrawled across the screen as the paragraph expanded.

He sighed and attempted to rub the sleep from his eyes, but to no avail. He had to finish the page for the newspaper before tomorrow, and his life was depending on it. He urged himself to continue with every bit of energy he possibly had. 

His eyes flicked towards the digital clock as his hands continued the work for him. 5:30 AM. He had to be at the Schuylers at 6:00 AM, and this article had to be done by today. He had worked all night editing and typing more information. 

Finally, he finished with, "Yours truly, John Laurens." His head dropped to the desk in relief. After a moment, he lifted his head and gripped onto the mouse. He sent his document to his boss, and tried blinking the threatening sleep away once more.

John lifted himself from his chair and trudged to the kitchen, as if anchors were attached to his heels. 

Placing himself on a chair, he gazed out the window. Stars were scattered across the sky and the moon was in the process of sinking down the horizon. Perhaps he could sleep for a half hour. He rested his head on the window sill, and was lulled to sleep from the faint sound of crickets. 

Very, very little did he know, the Schuylers were about to lead John to a new door of his life. Hopefully, he had the key to open it.


	2. One Sister Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where Eliza and Angelica start to fight.

It felt like as soon as he had slammed his head against the window sill, he was right back awake again. Only a half hour of sleep was definitely not worth it, but he had to get the Schuylers ready.

While John might not be related to them by pure blood, they were still his beloved cousins. He watched over them just as an older brother would.

Especially since their parents had died, Angelica has been working harder than anyone to support her sisters. John decided to pitch in, and now they were somewhat of a family.

John got ready as briskly as he possibly could, throwing the wrong shoes on the wrong feet, an almost forgotten comb in his hair, and only a jacket sleeve. 

He bundled his suitcases into his arms and carefully set them in the back. His laptop was in there, after all. He had worked forever for that thing, and now that it was in his hands, he had to treat it in the best condition possible.

He slammed the trunk shut and reversed the car, making sure not to hit anything in his path. Once, he had almost hit a kid's scooter, and he never heard the end of that. 

The Schuylers' house was a five minute drive away. They didn't live very far from where John was. He blasted the radio, which fizzed through the speakers. He needed to stay awake no matter what the issue was. He wasn't going to die on this particular day. 

After pulling into the driveway, John parked the car and scanned the Schuylers' apartment. The number '618' printed above the doorbell.

He got out of the car and walked up the steps, and tapped on the door with his knuckles. 

He made sure to listen. After knowing them for so long, he could tell each of their footsteps apart. Peggy's sounded light and skippy, and almost had a certain rhythm to it. Eliza's was almost proper, each footstep carefully placed after the other. Angelica's nearly sounded like she was in a marching band.

But this time, he heard, well, crashing down the stairs, and the fluttery skips as they raced towards the door.

Peggy was nearly nose to nose with him as the door was instantly thrown open. John was actually worried she had unhooked it from the hinges.

"You fell down the stairs," John stated first. 

"Well, it's nice to meet you too, John," Peggy teased, and fondly rolled her eyes. "Come on, we just barely started to eat breakfast!" And with that, she tightly gripped onto John's hand and tugged him inside.

John was hit with the warm aroma of pancakes, it seemed. He was led into the kitchen, where a welcoming Eliza was sat at the table with a stack of pancakes (with overflowing syrup), and an angry Angelica sticking her nose in the fridge.

John awkwardly waved as Peggy finally let his hand go to prepare breakfast for him. "Good morning."

Eliza's lips tugged into a sweet smile and she waved back, and Angelica just grunted in response.

John knew that Angelica was in a bad mood for most of the time, but she always responded to him, no matter what.

John just blinked and mouthed, 'Okay, then', before turning to the other sisters. "Are you all packed for the trip?"

Peggy nodded excitedly. "Yep. I have all my bags at the front door. No need to help me." She flashed him a grin and kissed his cheek, before passing a plate to him. She had drawn hearts and stars over the top with syrup. 

John chuckled quietly and shook his head, picking up the fork and tearing a piece off before eating it. Just to test. There have been days when Peggy cooked pancakes with plastic dinosaurs hidden inside.

Fortunately, this one seemed to be clear, so he took it to the table and sat next to Eliza. 

Eliza frowned guiltily. "As for me, I haven't quite finished packing. Will you do me a favor and put my journal in there? I have to leave for school soon." She gazed towards him questioningly.

John nodded and smiled back. Of course he would. 

Angelica was no longer in school, and Eliza was in her senior year of high school. Peggy was a sophomore.

Angelica picked up a bottle of apple juice and chugged it, before closing the fridge and glaring at John. "I don't see why we need to go on this family trip? There's absolutely no way you can make me go."

John bit his lip. Arguing with Angelica was a terrible idea, and he hadn't even learned that from experience.

"We have to go. I'm sorry, but it's important we make it. The Washingtons have been dying to see you. Come on, it's only once a year we visit each other." He frowned.

Angelica whirled on him, causing John to flinch. "But what about my studies!?" 

John paused. Now that was new. Angelica always tried to worm her way out of studying, or anything. She was working towards college, and tried her hardest, but it didn't mean she didn't complain about her work. She tried to find every way possible to get out of it, and this trip would be a great opportunity.

John just offered a weak smile. "Now, I hate to break it to you, but you might have to miss out just this once."

Angelica was fuming. It was as if you could see the burning fury in her eyes itself about to cast onto John, instantly drenching him in flames.

John braced himself to be hit, but instead she just let out an exasperated groan and chucked the bottle at the wall, before storming out of the room.

Eliza and Peggy offered him apologetic glances, and John simply shook his head and waved it off. Whatever was the problem, John figured Angelica would eventually tell him what was going on.

John finished his plastic-dinosaur-free pancakes rather quickly, and he stood up and placed them in the sink. He ran the hot water to melt the sticky syrup off, and blinked as he heard a knock on the door. 

They hadn't been expecting anyone. Well, they weren't supposed to be. They were just about to leave for a trip.

"I'll get it. You two can keep getting ready for school," he reassured them. He turned the water off and shook some droplets off of his hands, before dashing to the door.

Angelica had almost beat him there, but John's grip was on the door handle before hers.

Angelica had that burning gaze again. The same one that John swore would spit fire onto him. "Now what in the world do you think you're doing? It's just the newspaper guy!" She tried tugging his hand away from the door, but John barely budged.

Something was wrong. Angelica didn't care about the newspaper. Nor did he care so much about him opening the door.

"Relax, I'll just get the paper then." John twisted the handle, and for a split second he thought he could see a hint of terror in those raging eyes. 

"No! I'll get it!" she spat, now attempting to yank his hand away from the door.

Again, John still didn't budge. Angelica was lying to him. John tugged the door open, and was face to face with a man about his and Angelica's age.

Angelica seemed like she was about to scream and tackle him right at this moment. Fear shone through her eyes as he gaze flickered between John and the other man. "John. Step. Away. From. The door!" she hissed, making sure her sentence was loud and clear by the way she annunciated each word. 

John wasn't buying that. He calmly met the other man's eyes and leaned against the doorframe to block Angelica from getting through. Whoever this man was, he was a threat.

"Aaron Burr, sir," the man nonchalantly stated, offering his hand to the other. "I'm a huge fan of your column in the paper. Really. You inspire me greatly, and I aspire to be someone like you when I am older."

John blinked and didn't say anything. He just stared at his hand, unaware of the awkward tension blooming between them. That was until Eliza pushed John out of the way.

"Angelica. Who's this?" Eliza folded her arms.

"I study with him. At work," she gritted. 

Eliza didn't seem to believe that, as well as John. Eliza narrowed her eyes. "A work buddy? So tell me. Is there anything.. I don't know." She smiled innocently and shrugged. "Maybe going on between the both of you?" 

Angelica and Aaron shook their heads at the speed of lightning, their stammering unable to decipher into actual words.

Eliza chuckled and the poor man was pierced underneath the gaze of her cold eyes. She was clearly not happy. "I see. Well, come back in a few years. Then maybe I'll consider you worthy enough for my sister."

As that last sentence was spoken, she simply shut the door in Aaron's face.

"What the hell, Liz! He came here to study with me!" Angelica spun to Eliza. Poor John was standing right in the middle of this mess, helplessly watching the scene unfurl.

Eliza shot her the piercing gaze she gave Aaron. "No, no. You don't give a single care in the world about your studies. Why do you need a partner to do it anyway?" 

Angelica's mouth dropped open, but no words came.

"Exactly as I thought," Eliza cut in, not giving her a single chance to speak. "Now, I'm going to school. I don't want you seeing that man again, Ang!" She twirled around, gripping one of the straps of her bag, and stomped out towards the back door.

Angelica clenched her fists, starting to shake. John was about to try and comfort her, but she had already seized her bag and gone through the front door.

John was now alone in the house along with Peggy. He wearily made his way back to the kitchen. "Hey, I think you better get to school. It's starting to get late," he softly pointed out.

Peggy nodded and took her backpack. She seemed to have overheard the argument at the door, but luckily didn't ask John about the situation.

"You're right. Gotta hurry. I'll see you later!" She chuckled and flashed her trademark bright grin. She wreathed her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug, before dashing out the front door, back the way John had come.

Now he was alone, just standing in the middle of the Schuylers' house.

At least he was still on good terms with Eliza and Peggy, right?


	3. Two Sisters Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where Eliza is even more upset.

John decided to pack lunches for everyone. He knew he wasn't their dad, but they definitely needed somebody out there to watch their backs. Angelica wasn't the kindest when it came to compare all three of the sisters. 

He was preparing Peggy's, the last of all three. He drizzled the honey over the sandwich in such a way so that it looked like a smiley face, and he placed another slice of bread with peanut butter smeared over it on top. Peanut butter and honey sandwiches were a favorite of hers. 

He packed all of the food away and did as Eliza had instructed him earlier, carefully placing her journal in her suitcase.

He nearly forgot that they were your stereotypical girls, and they packed a lot more things than he thought were necessary. He ended up having to make three trips to the car and back with two to three suitcases in his arms. John had literally only needed a smaller one, since it was going to be a four day trip. It wasn't the end of the world.

John was busy thrusting the bags to try and fit in with each other in the trunk until he heard a jingling noise coming from his pocket. Oh, right, his phone!

He wondered who it could be. No one ever really thought calling him was a good idea these days. 

He accepted the call, and propped the phone up against his ear and his shoulder as he continued to shove the suitcases in. 

"Good morning. Is this John Laurens?"

John paused, wondering who this could possibly be. He turned his back to steady the suitcases as he spoke, and leaned against them. 

"Yes. That's me. Is something wrong?"

 

It had taken John about seven minutes or less to finally stuff the trunk. He was actually afraid it would pop open while they were driving. The amount of bags was simply putting too much weight on the car, but if he tried convincing the girls otherwise, they'd be pretty pissed and upset with him.

John drove to Eliza and Peggy's school. They were waiting on the front steps, and Peggy stood and waved enthusiastically as she seemed to recognize his car. 

Peggy sat in the back by the window, but Eliza approached the passenger's side and motioned him to roll down the window.

John did as she had asked. "Something the matter?"

Eliza shook her head. "No. I just thought I should tell you that Angelica left to go 'study' at Cubbys." She did air quotes at the word, rolling her eyes. Cubbys was a cafe nearby that sold seafood and soup. 

John sighed and stopped grasping the wheel to rub his eyes. He knew that this Aaron Burr kid was bad news.

Eliza nodded, and then gave an innocent smile, the one she gave when it was crystal clear that she wanted something. "Can I drive?"

John paused, before speaking. "Sit with Peggy," he instructed.

 

The rest of the drive to Cubbys was dead silent. A disappointed Eliza was in the back seat, as well as a tired Peggy. High school wore her out. 

John pulled into the parking lot and stopped the car before resting his forehead against the wheel. He felt terrible for letting fear get in the way of having Eliza drive. It was a great learning opportunity. "Look," John started, adjusting the rearview mirror so he could see her in the back. "I just can't lose you."

Eliza sighed. "John. I'll never learn or prove myself if you don't give me a chance."

After she stated that, she stepped out of the car and peered through the windows of the restaurant for Angelica.

It was like a Where's Waldo game. Except, she spotted Angelica by her signature pink jacket. Eliza was shocked by what he saw next

Angelica and Aaron were together with their fingers locked between each other's. They were sitting at a booth with two coffee mugs placed at their sides, and here's the winner. Their lips were connecting, and there seemed to be no signs of it stopping anytime soon.

Eliza pounded on the glass and everyone's heads turned towards her. She was pissed as all hell about this, and didn't give a single care in the world.

Angelica broke the kiss when she was surprised by the sudden loud noise. She turned her head and froze once her eyes reached Eliza's.

Eliza sighed and motioned for her to come out, lifting a finger and beckoning her to follow.

Angelica's fury returned to her eyes in an instant. She grabbed her backpack and gathered her work, before storming out of the cafe.

"What do you have to say to me?" Eliza asked and raised a brow, placing a hand on her hip.

"Eliza, I love him! I love him, I love him, I love him!" Angelica shouted as she chanted the words.

Eliza's normally warm and welcoming eyes were now as cold as ice. She didn't approve of her sister dating this man, and especially hiding it from her.

"No, please, you have to understand! I love him with all of my heart! And I-"

Eliza cut her off. "How long have you even known him for?" she asked calmly, now folding her arms as she inspected Angelica's gaze.

"Three days," Angelica admitted. "But I love him, and I know it!"

Eliza snorted. "Lets get in the car," she muttered. She didn't look like she was wanting a fight. Eliza wasn't that type of person. It was pretty obvious that she thought this was some sort of joke, though. 

John and Peggy were awkwardly listening in on the whole fight from the car and exchanging nervous glances.

Angelica and Eliza sat on the left and right side of Peggy, deeming her the title of being stuck in the middle. They slammed the doors shut and didn't say a word. 

John was about to say something but then reminded himself that when those girls were mad, you should never poke them with a stick. It was exactly how a bear would react to it. You'd probably end up missing an entire arm, or a couple of scratches if lucky enough.

John pulled out of the driveway and started the trip down to Virginia, back where the Washington family lived. This would be very many hours of plain silence. 

John could see the scowling Angelica in the back seat, and couldn't help but wonder if it's even possible to fall in love in three days. You wouldn't even know the other person yet, right? How would you even feel comfortable with kissing someone you barely know? Love forms over time, and he knew that. Everyone did.. It was the simplest known thing in the world.


	4. The Washington's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More characters are introduced!

The awkward silence that snaked in and out of the ears of everybody in the car was nearly unbearable. Eliza and Angelica were both angry bears at the moment, and if prodded with a wrong string of words, they'd brutally decapitate you. At least in Eliza's case, she was only angry towards Angelica and John. She was at least sensible and mature enough when it came to others. 

John found it ironic, though. Angelica had always helped Eliza get any guy she wanted, but this in return? Eliza could at least show her usual sweet side to Angelica just this once. Though, it was true that this Aaron Burr guy seemed a little fishy to John himself, but he didn't dare utter an opinion. He wasn't exactly willing to risk his life today. 

Peggy, on the other hand, was an entire different story. She was sitting there with her sweet little hands knitted together as she was willingly sacrificing herself to sit between the two angry sisters, and she hadn't complained at all. It was either she had grown accustomed to this, or she just didn't want to bother John after all he had done for them that day.

They had gone right from Cubbys to go to the Washington's house, which was quite an amount of hours away. John had to drink a ton of Mountain Dew and energy drinks beforehand just so that he'd stay awake. 

He had piped up the radio for a lot of those hours, until it had come up with a wheezy and staticky noise, until with a final cough, it burned out into pure static. Oh well, at least it was a lot more soothing to the ears than most modern music.

By that point, the anger lurking around the backseat had gotten the best of Angelica and Eliza. Both of their heads were crooked against Peggy's neck, which left her being the only one awake with John. 

Peggy spent her time pinning her gaze to the window without trying to disturb her two sisters. She had caught the brilliant blue of the sky swallow up the sun as it gave its final burst of energy of the day, and lay down the horizon to sleep. The shimmering orange and scarlet of the sky faded to the vast purples and blues the moon had to offer. Peggy found it sad that most people went to sleep at this time. The moon had quite a lot to give, just like the sun did. But on the other hand.. maybe it's beauty was the cause of lulling people into sleep. Maybe that's what the moon's purpose was, and it was happy with its part. 

Anyway, enough about silly moons and stars with character. This is what happens when Peggy is tired. She looked up at John. "Are we there yet?" she asked quietly. She was exhausted.

"Twenty minutes," John confirmed, offering a small yawn. "Believe me, I'm ready to sleep right when we get there." 

"So am I. I'm about ready to go nuts just because of these two." Peggy gestured to her sisters, even if John couldn't see. She didn't want to distract him either. "They're breathing in my ears, and it's not really the most glorious noise I want to listen to right now," she complained, nearly squealing in disgust as Angelica drooled onto her shoulder. This was going to be a painful twenty minutes to suffer through.

John laughed quietly. "I'm sorry about that. We'll be there soon, I promise." 

John was particularly fond of Peggy. She was the silliest of the three sisters, and he absolutely adored her. She always had her insane curls tied up with a yellow hairband. She was obsessed with the color yellow, and he constantly teased her about looking like a highlighter due to how often she wore that color. She always told him that she had a better time standing out, and that answer was perfectly okay with John. Why fit in, when you were born to stand out? They got along pretty well, and John loved the bond that the two shared. 

After the promised twenty minutes, John parked into the driveway. Peggy groaned and shoved the two sisters away from her sides, and she smeared her shoulder against Angelica. "Alright, enough of this, I'm ready for bed with no one else to bother me." 

Angelica and Eliza both stirred awake, looking around as if they didn't know how they ended up there. They locked eyes, and their weary eyes instantly hardened with fury. 

John unlocked the car and got out, remembering just how long he had been driving for when his legs began to wobble like Jell-O. He steadied himself, and after shaking the blood back into his legs, he went to the trunk. He opened his mouth to ask for help with the suitcases, but Angelica and Eliza were already inside the house. 

Peggy trotted up to John and winked. "Trust me, I know just how awful you're feeling. I'm not leaving these up to you." She hauled as many suitcases she could out of the trunk, and started the journey to the porch. 

John chuckled. "Thanks, Pegleg," he teased, gathering the remaining suitcases. 

Eventually, they both reached the door, dumping the suitcases at the entrance. Eliza and Angelica could get theirs later once they configured rooms.

George and Martha were standing inside, grinning with glee. "Oh, Peggy, you've gotten so much taller!" Martha exclaimed, cupping the girl's cheeks in her hands. Peggy giggled. "Thanks. I've only grown, like, two inches since fourth grade. Not like it matters." 

George smiled fondly and patted Peggy on the back, and then greeted John. "Was the drive here all right for you, Laurens?"

John choked out a weak laugh. "Couldn't be better," he lied, earning a laugh from George, Martha, and Peggy. 

Next, the room filled with life as Thomas and Lafayette burst in. These were labelled "John's brothers", even though they weren't exactly related.. They just got along and always hung out whenever they were around.

Thomas and Lafayette both tackled John into a hug and a noogie. "Oy! Long time no see!"

John glanced at both of them with tired eyes. It was evident that he was, because obvious bags were underlining his eyelids. "Yeah.. Really.."

Lafayette snickered. "Wow. Who knew driving could beat you up this badly?" 

John gave a weak laugh in response. Thomas puffed out his chest with pride. "I have a 'friend' coming tomorrow that I want you to meet, so you better freshen up by tomorrow. I don't want to disappoint him with this." He waved his hand over John's face, indicating he was talking about his messy features.

"Haha. Very funny," John replied in a monotone voice, rolling his eyes. "I'm going to be-"

Martha frowned worriedly. "John, dear.. You see, everyone else has taken up.. the rooms.." 

John merely raised an eyebrow, urging her to continue. 

"You could stay in the washing machine room, or we could give you money for a motel?"

This decision couldn't be any easier. 

 

"Goodnight, cockroaches," John murmured. "Goodnight, ugly stained walls. Goodnight, germs of other people that have slept in this very bed." He shut off the lamp and rested his head against the pillow. He needed to stop before he was going to feel too grossed out from the room to actually sleep. Even if he wasn't sleeping with the rest of the family, he needed a place to get away. And it was better than listening to the gut-wrenching noise of buttoned shirts bouncing around the washing machine.  
John was out like a light before he knew it. 

 

John woke up to the sound of knocking at his door. He let out a soft groan, his hand moving to find the nightstand to shut off the alarm, not fully aware that it wasn't the source of the noise. When his hand was only hitting the bare surface of the nightstand, he sat up and stumbled out of bed, heading towards the door.

He creaked it open, wincing at the groaning noise that the hinges released. Yeah, maybe a motel wasn't such a good option. 

He was surprised to find Martha there with an envelope clutched in her wrinkled hands.

"Hi, Mrs. Washington," John croaked, still getting used to waking up.

"Hi, John. I'm still feeling awful that you have to stay here." Martha frowned sympathetically. 

"No, really, it's fi-" John tried to reassure her that it was okay, but she cut him off. 

"I brought you some money to buy a newspaper or book.. I don't know, for inspiration?" She smiled hopefully, pressing the envelope into John's hand. 

John's eyes widened, and he attempted to push it back into her hands. "No, I can't accept this.. I'll be okay, I promise."

Martha shook her head, shoving it to John's chest. "I insist. Please, John?" She looked up at him with pleading eyes.

John sighed. "Okay. Fine. I'll go to the library," he reluctantly agreed.

Martha flashed a wide grin, very ecstatic. "Oh, thank you, John! I have been dying to read your writing!" 

John smiled softly. "Yeah.. thanks.." 

After she said goodbye and parted, John shut the squeaky door and cringed, studying the envelope in his hands. "Why do I need newspaper inspiration if this is a vacation?" he muttered to himself, shaking his head.


	5. Books, Biscuits, and Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR  
> BEHOLD, THE MIGHTY ALEXANDER HAMILTON  
> AND THE CROWD GOES W I L D  
> Alright so this is all I've got on Wattpad, but I decided to continue it here. I have been working on the rest of the chapters, so do not worry!

Well, this was a lot better than hanging around his family. John wasn't labelled as the 'social' type. He was quite the opposite, actually. After debating whether or not he should go to the library, he attached his shoes to his feet and tugged on his jacket. He put on his red baseball cap and reversed it around his head, then stuffed the envelope underneath it. He tied his curls up behind his head so that no one would notice that he didn't put in the effort to comb it. 

He went out into his car and drove to the closest library. Martha had written down the address on the back of the envelope. He was always fond of her writing, since it was very neat cursive. He had no clue how she did it. 

Eventually, he arrived at the book store. He was shocked, and he gaped at how small it was. As Thomas would say, "top ten things John's partner would say during sex". 

He got out of the car, sucking in the humid air. It looked like it was going to rain. The clouds hung over the sky, denying the sun from entrance.

The book store was located right on top of a dock. It was like a small boardwalk, located right by the ocean. It was cute, and even though it smelled salty, he could see why people would go here. You could take a break from life and buy a book for 20 cents or less, and read to your heart's content as you ate pastries from the little cafe right next to it. There was a little room he could see, and it looked like a perfect place to read and sip tea as the rain pattered over the windows. He sighed contentedly at the thought. It sounded perfect. 

He walked into the book store. The door triggered a little silver bell to chime, and he was soothed to find no one looked over at him. This really was the best place to go to if you felt antisocial. 

He relaxed and started to sort through newspapers, scoffing to himself as he found the simplest edits the authors could have made. People want to read a story, not some dry and flaky experience you found in your backyard. It seemed like the actual story-worthy articles were poorly written, too. 

He felt a tap on his shoulder. "Excuse me?" 

John whirled around on his heels out of shock, and holy shit, he nearly spun right back around to recover from what he had just seen.

It wasn't like this man was ugly. Oh no, he was FAR from that. VERY far. He had strands of hair falling out of his messy hair, which was tied back, and he was clearly just as lazy as John had been this morning when it came to dressing up. He had glasses perched over the bridge of his nose, and he had a little bit of scruff on his chin. He might seem messy, but the vibe John got from him was that he was just obsessed with coffee and a really sweet guy, considering he had the scent of coffee lingering on his breath. His eyes were a dark hue of copper, and they were gleaming. 

John forgot he was breathing, and he had to take in a deep breath to regain it. This man was the cutest guy in the entire world, and he didn't know how to handle this situation. For now, that would be his name in his mind, until he got his real name. 

The cutest guy in the world's eyebrows creased with worry. "Sir? Are you alright?" 

John nodded and cleared his throat, letting out a small and nervous chuckle. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I j-just- you-you scared me," he lied. 

The-Cutest-Guy-In-The-World tilted his head. "I sincerely apologize. I really didn't mean to. Did a story in there catch your interest?" He gestured to the forgotten newspaper in John's hands.

Pffft, no, of course not. If anything, this guy had caught his interest. "Oh, um.. Yes." He passed the newspaper to the Cutest-Guy-In-The-World. "Want to check it out?" The last time John stuttered this much was when he had to sing a solo in front of George and Martha. He was always nervous when he sang. But this felt like that same anxiety, amplified to a billion. He felt like there were little electric butterflies in his wrists and stomach. 

The-Cutest-Guy-In-The-World chuckled. "Well, yes, actually. You see, I was originally going to ask you if you had any suggestions for books I should read.. I'm staying over with family, and I need a way to escape."

John laughed softly. This guy was just as antisocial as he was, huh? He obviously didn't ask that out loud. "I feel you there. What sort of genre are you looking for?" He wasn't aware of why Alexander had asked him this in the first place. 

The-Cutest-Guy-In-The-World hummed as he thought. "I think I want something that's funny.. something that will help me get lost and sort of get rid of tension, you know?" 

Bingo. John knew exactly what to show him. He searched around the book store and plunged his hand into different bookshelves, snatching books that he had read himself. All the while, he was listening to The-Cutest-Guy-In-The-World continue to ramble about what sort of book he wanted as he followed John's footsteps.

John thought this was adorable. The guy seemed to have his quirks, but he could tell he was confident despite his rambling. His eyes shone with pride.

After his cycle around the store, they ended up at the very front desk. John placed the stack of books he had collected, and he added them to The-Cutest-Guy-In-The-World's newspaper. "Look through those and see what you like best." He smiled sweetly.   
He was feeling so loopy. He couldn't wipe off his stupid smile if he tried.

The-Cutest-Guy-In-The-World flipped through the stash of books, and a smile spread to his own lips. "This is perfect.. you know, I think I'm going to buy them all. Thank you..." His eyes drifted to John's chest, which kind of alarmed him at first, until it all clicked in his mind. 

This guy thought that John was a worker, didn't he? Aww. That was even more cute. He was looking for his name tag, but because he didn't have one, he was going to have to break it to him. 

"I'm John." John smiled. The-Absolute-Cutest-Guy-In-The-World smiled back, which melted John's heart like a fucking ice cube in the Sahara desert. "I'm Alex." 

Alex was perfectly fitting. John could totally see it now. Alex broke his thoughts when he talked again. 

"Well, thank you, John.. This really is going to keep me occupied." 

"Happy to help." John gave the same dorky smile. 

Alex chuckled and dumped the books onto the front counter. He dug in his pocket for his allowance, and he slid the money over to the cashier. "You've got really great service," he commented. "It's not every day you find workers like him." Alex pointed to John.

The cashier scoffed. "He doesn't work here."

Alex's eyes widened in surprise and he looked over at John. "Oh.." 

John gave a cheeky grin once Alex's eyes landed on him. He then realized what he was wearing.

A backwards baseball cap. He was such a child.. No one wears those. Except for your basic white guy who works at a local grocery store.

"He should work here, then," Alex suggested, exposing the same heartwarming smile. He paid for the books and put them in the bag slung over his shoulder. 

John hesitantly walked back to Alex. "W-Want to get some coffee or something? It's on me."

Alex hummed in response and nodded. "Yes. I could really go for some coffee right now." 

"Great." John grinned and led Alex out of the book store to go to the cafe standing next to it. This was perfect. John was practically already head over heels for this Alex guy, and he was having tea with him.


	6. Downfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander reveals a secret to John in a hurry and leaves, and John is left wondering if he'll ever see him again.

John had bought Alex a coffee, surprised to find that he liked it completely black. Who even likes it so dark? John thought he would prefer the taste of a mud and gravel smoothie compared to black coffee. It was too bitter.

They were both sitting at one of the tables inside the little covered outdoor cafe. It was a little cluttered, but because they were the only ones there, it wasn't a problem at all. John had ordered hot chocolate for himself, and it felt so nice.. One good thing to make up for all of the inconveniences of this trip.

John found that Alex was extremely talkative, and it had been another surprise to him. Not that he minded it. He'd do anything just to have a chat with him.

He found out his name was Alexander Hamilton, and he lived in New York. He was a huge fan of coffee, just as John had guessed, and he absolutely loved to write. 

"You were born?" Alex asked, taking a sip of his coffee. John knew that Alex was asking him where he was born, but he decided to take this opportunity to be a total dad and make jokes.

"Yes. I was born," John confirmed, smiling like he had just proved Alex false.

Alex chuckled and shook his head. "You've got an odd mind, Laurens," he quietly murmured.

John snorted. "I was born in South Carolina," he corrected. "What about you?"

Alex seemed to stiffen a little at this question, but it was only for a brief moment, as if it had never happened. "I was born in the Caribbean."

"The Caribbean?" John repeated. "That's quite awhile away from here, Lex." 

Alex nodded and shrugged. "Yeah. I know. I don't really tell people about it. I choose to live in the present."

John dipped his head into a nod. "I understand that. My mother and I used to be extremely close, and we did everything together.." He paused, knowing he was contradicting his earlier statement, but Alex seemed intrigued. "Then, one day.. we were driving home, and.." He shrugged. "She was sick and weak at the time. All it was was a little accident, but next thing we know, she wasn't with us anymore." 

Alex frowned sympathetically. He extended his arm and patted John on the shoulder. "I know how that feels. That must've been really heartbreaking for you."

John merely shrugged. "I know. It's okay, now." He didn't understand.. this time, he wasn't feeling so empty while talking about the loss of his mother. 

Alex smiled softly. "That's good." He squeezed John's shoulder, then let go. That contact had made John's heart soar, but only for a moment.

Alex pulled out his phone from his pocket, frowning at John apologetically. "Sorry," he mouthed as he covered the microphone, and then held the phone to his ear. "Hello? O-Oh, yeah, I'm fine, I promise.." He bit his lip. "Okay. I'm sorry. I'll be over in a few." 

He paused. "Love you. Bye." He sighed and put his phone back in his pocket, beginning to gather his belongings. "I have to go," he told John.

John tried not to show he was disappointed, but by the way he felt his smile and heart drop, he knew it was evident. 

Alexander sighed. "I really did have fun. Thanks for helping me find all those books. You were a lot of help." He smiled, and John could tell he was trying to help him feel better. 

"Yeah, I-I- um, we should do this again sometime.." John suggested.

Alexander frowned guiltily and started to leave, and John followed. "I... can't.." he whispered.

"Why?" John felt his heart snap.

"I.. have a boyfriend," Alexander admitted. "He's really protective, and.." He shrugged, looking very pathetic and sorry. 

John fumbled with his sleeve. It was one of his nervous ticks. "Oh.." He felt his heart split into fourths this time. Alexander had a boyfriend. Wow, great job, John. You really got yourself into a pretty nice situation this time. 

Alexander kept rambling apologies and he got into his car. John at least wanted to stay in touch. He'd go crazy if he didn't ever see Alexander and his beautiful self ever again. 

"..Could I get your number?" John asked, wincing at his own question.

Alexander seemed to hesitate himself, and then he got a paper and scribbled down his number with a pen that had been tucked behind his ear. He passed the slip of paper to John. "Here." 

"Thanks.." John offered a heartbroken smile, although he hadn't intended to.

Alexander frowned apologetically once more. "I'm sorry, Laurens.. I'll see you around?" He smiled softly, trying to offer him some sort of comfort. He shut the door and started the engine of the car. He waved at John and pulled out of his parking spot.

"Uh, I'll call you! Even when I'm not calling!" John grinned as he watched Alex drive away. His grin fell as soon as his car was out of sight. Damn it, John. You really, really, really fucked up. 

 

"I'll call you? Even when I'm not calling?" Peggy snickered, and John was very lucky he was having this conversation over the phone. He didn't want to see Peggy's smirk. John sighed. "Yep.. That's what I said to him.." 

Peggy roared into laughter again. "I can't believe you!"

John laughed softly. "Glad to be your source of entertainment today." He blinked as he saw red and blue lights dazzling onto his dashboard. "I'll call you back, hold on." He hung up the phone and pulled over, sitting up straight as if he were an army soldier.

The policeman strutted up to John. He rolled down his window so they could talk. "I'm sorry, sir, this usually doesn't happen, and-" 

"Fine for speeding," the policeman said in a monotone voice, and he plastered the note to John's hand. 

"Oh.. sorry.." John apologized, but the policeman was already walking back to his car.

 

John ended up going back to go see Martha. Since he hadn't even bought anything at the book store, it was only right to give her the money back. He took the brim of his cap and pulled it off so that he could use it as a makeshift bowl, and he shook the crumpled dollar bills out of his curls. They all fell into the cap, just like he wanted. 

George walked into the hallway and met John at the front door, not helping but to chuckle. "You got a little hat hair going on there." He pointed.

John sighed. He knew it was true. He smoothed back his hair as best as he could, but it was like he hadn't even done anything to it. His curls sprung right back up as if they, too, were mocking him from the events that had happened earlier. 

"You alright, son? You aren't acting like your normal self," George asked, his eyebrows creasing with worry.

"Yeah, I'm fine," John mumbled as he pushed past George to get to Martha.

It wasn't like he wanted to have a chat with her either, but it was too bad for him, because she also knew something was up.

John gathered the dollars in his hand and placed them in Martha's own. "Here's your money. I didn't find anything, unfortunately.." He wasn't going to explain that he had spent the whole time googling over Alexander.

Martha thanked John, but put the money back in his hand. "Use it for future bookstores then, silly." His hand was pretty massive in comparison to hers, so she had a hard time cupping her hands over his. She smiled softly, nodding to encourage him.

John sighed and put the cap back on, then put the money in his pants pocket. He knew there was no arguing with Martha, because she always winded her way into winning. "Thank you. I appreciate it." He tried not to let guilt get to him, but he truly did feel it.

Martha eyed John suspiciously, but it only lasted for a split second. "I will go make dinner. Why don't you lie down for awhile?" she suggested, then walked off.

John was relieved that Martha hadn't interrogated him, but something was fishy. Martha always nagged you until you told her what was wrong. She was too nurturing.

George opened his mouth to speak to John again, but that's when the hurricane (known as Thomas and Lafayette) burst in through the doors. 

They both shoved and smothered John in playful punches, but he wasn't in the mood. 

Lafayette grinned. "Martha told us to talk to you. Why are you so upset, mon ami?" 

"Leave me alone," John grumbled. 

Thomas huffed. "We aren't going to leave unless you tell us what's wrong." 

Peggy poked her head into the room and giggled quietly. "He met someone really cute at the book store," she purred. 

John felt his heart stop for a minute. Oh no. News like this spread like wildfire around the house, and he really wasn't wanting to talk about this. "Peggy!" he exclaimed, but he was drowned and smothered into more playful punches and noogies. 

Thomas grinned. "Why in the world is that even troubling you, John!?" He raised his head, and belted from the bottom of his lungs, "GUYS! JOHN MET A HOTTIE!" 

The other family members surged into the hallway, chattering and squealing. They all knew that it was a rare occasion when John Laurens actually like anybody. 

"No! I didn't mean that! Thomas!" John whined, his face turning beet red. 

Thomas just continued to smile like an idiot. "Babe! Did you hear? John met a hottie!" he shouted across the room. 

The crowd parted as this 'babe' stepped forth, and John's heartbeat was now in his throat as they locked eyes. 

Thomas's 'babe' was Alexander. The one and only.

John felt like the hot chocolate he had swallowed earlier froze into a huge stone of ice in his stomach. No... No, no no.. This day honestly couldn't get any more awkward or worse. Alexander was dating Thomas, and as far as he knew, John considered him a 'hottie'.

Recognition flooded into Alexander's eyes as he stared up and down at John, and he was clearly embarrassed too. A pink color tinted his cheeks as he turned to Thomas. 

Why couldn't John just had taken off his stupid baseball cap? It was a blaring red. Red was his favorite color, but if he had taken it off, maybe Alexander wouldn't have remembered him. He was pretty average looking enough, right? 

When Alexander spoke up, John calmed down just a little when he chose to be mature about the situation and change the subject.

"So I've heard." He gave a small smile. "Why don't we go back and play games? John might need time to himself, I think." His gaze briefly flickered to John's, and he swore that he had winked at him.

"Alright, Lexie." Thomas smiled, but Alexander didn't look too comfortable being addressed in that way, and John felt pity. 

"Guys, this is Alexander. We started dating about two weeks ago, and he's the most wonderful guy I've ever known," Thomas explained, taking Alexander's hand in his own.

John ran through Alexander's description of Thomas earlier. "Overprotective". Of course. And Thomas had said that he was bringing a friend to the house. Why was he so oblivious? It was right in front of his own nose and he hadn't caught it.

Everyone started to crowd around Alexander, and they all were inspecting him like he was some sort of statue made of pure gold. Peggy snatched his arm and giggled. "Where are you from, Alexander?" 

"New York," Alexander answered, but John instantly recognized that as a lie. "I have been to many other places though, like the Caribbean and Puerto Rico." He grinned.

Peggy gasped. "Woah! Do you know Spanish?"   
Alexander's grinned brightened. "Sí! Yo hablo español." 

Lafayette snorted. "Not as impressive as knowing French." He took pride in where he came from.

Alexander smirked, and he showed off his own French. He clearly took that on as a challenge. 

Lafayette simply blinked in defeat, and his boyfriend Hercules pat his back with a laugh. "This is why you need to calm down sometimes." 

Eliza giggled, and even Angelica looked impressed. 

"You are so smart!" Peggy exclaimed, jostling Alexander around. "I like this one!"

The other family members murmured in agreement, nodding and grinning at Alexander.

John was also impressed, but his heart was sinking more and more by the second. The more he knew, the more he was falling in love with him. The more he fell in love with him, the more he was reminded that he was dating Thomas. 

John spun on his heel awkwardly and crept towards the door. He could really use that 'time by himself' that Alexander was talking about right now.

That's when Thomas pulled on the hoodie of John's hoodie and brought him back. "You know what, John?"

"What?" John whispered. He was /this/ close to snapping. 

"I think you should go for it. Go get that hottie you met earlier!" Thomas advised matter-of-factly. 

John felt even more rage. What the hell did he even know about relationships? He knew he was trying to watch his back, but it was not helping. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath. Maybe he could've gone for it, if Thomas stayed out of his life.

"Thanks," John gritted. "I will." He headed back to the door, but Thomas yanked him back again. "John? Let's all play hide-and-seek. Who's up for a game of hide-and-seek!?" he shouted, panning his gaze around everybody else. 

The smaller children cheered, and the adults agreed to play just because of their own kids.

John was ready to bite Thomas's head off. Why the hell did he even want him to stay and play such a kiddy game? He wanted to go back to his shitty motel room and recollect himself. 

"Okay, I'll be it!" Thomas shouted. He began to count, and John turned and didn't look back as he stormed towards the door and slammed it behind him. Little did he know, Alexander was right in his footsteps. He wanted to talk.


	7. Alone With Dandelions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Alexander spend time together, and he makes a wrong move and calls Thomas out. Everything is chaos.

John sighed and sat behind the trunk of a tree. The bark was clinging on to his jacket, but he couldn't care any less. 

He knotted his fingers into his hair and groaned. "Stupid Laurens, stupid Laurens!" he shout-whispered. It wasn't something he wanted to announce to the entire world.

"Hey," said a voice, and John jumped. He was startled. 

John looked up, and there was Alexander, twirling a dandelion stem between his fingers. He sat next to John and pulled his knees up to his chest. 

John felt electricity crackle between their shoulders, and he did his best to dismiss it. He was upset. Alexander was the very last person he wanted to see right now. He probably came to tell John how fucking stupid he was. He braced himself for it, but all he got was silence for a prolonged period of time. "Alright, what's up?"

Alexander chuckled. "Thanks for the proper greeting," he teased, but the smile on his face showed it was only lighthearted.

John sputtered, and then scoffed when no words came. "For the record, I didn't call you a 'hottie'," he grumbled. 

Alexander winked at John. "That's too bad. I was kind of hoping you did."

A light pink blossomed onto John's freckled cheeks, but he said nothing. Fuck Alexander. He didn't have time for his flirty mood right now. Besides, couldn't he just go back to Thomas or something?

Alexander plucked more flowers from the ground, weaving all of their stems together out of boredom. 

"You know..." John piped up after a moment. "Thomas is a great guy.. You're lucky."

Alexander looked a little disinterested. "Yep," he hummed. He silently whispered some words into the puffy dandelion he had been holding, and then blew onto it. The white fluff spilled over the stem, and then tumbled with the breeze. 

John blushed and averted his gaze to the ground. Was Alexander making a wish? That was way too cute.. no one wishes upon dandelions anymore.

John was about to reach out and pick another dandelion for Alexander, but that was when Thomas burst out from behind the tree they were sitting under. 

"Ha! I found you!" he shouted, grinning stupidly. John was tempted to use that dandelion's wish for himself so that he could wipe that grin off his face. 

"Good job, Thomas," Alexander praised, smiling softly.

Thomas held the wide grin for a moment, until it faltered. His eyes creased suspiciously. "Hey... I know what's going on between you two."

John felt his heartbeat stutter. "U-Um, you.. do?" Alexander himself seemed to be frozen.

"I do," Thomas confirmed. "I know that you two.. are getting along so well!" He beamed and hugged them tightly. "I'm so happy! I hoped that this would happen!"

Both John and Alexander exhaled sighs of relief. That was very close.

"Come on, you guys. I already found everyone else. We're going down by the sea." Thomas smiled with glee and pinched Alexander's cheek. "You'll be coming too, Lexie, right?"

Alexander looked a bit uncomfortable again, and John could tell that he was straining not to show it. "Mhm," he confirmed.

"Great. I'll meet you inside, then." Thomas spun around and went back to the house.

Alexander was about to stand up, but John had grabbed his hand to prevent him from doing so. "Wait, hold on." 

He gathered the dandelions that Alexander had collected, and then added his own to the bunch. He knotted the stems to each other, and then placed it like a crown over Alexander's head. "Cute." John smiled.

Alexander was clearly dying to see what he looked like, but he figured that John would know best. He tried to hide the blush on his cheeks by scratching his nose. "Thank you, John." It was like a flower crown, but not, since John and Alexander aren't your typical pastel goths.

 

The group soon arrived at the sea, where all of the children squealed and tumbled towards the water. Angelica was too busy fawning over Alexander and the flowers placed atop his head. She glanced over at the rest of the group and grinned. "Guys! Alexander is really growing onto me!"

Hercules chuckled and sighed. "We heard you the first forty thousand times, Angie."

George was walking with John, both having their hands in their pockets. They were just comfortable with the company from one another and perfectly fine with the silence. 

"You know," George finally said as he came to a stop. "Martha and I have been talking." 

Uh oh. That was never good. John slowed his steps and halted, showing that he was ready to listen to whatever shenanigans the Washingtons were up to. 

George stared out across the horizon and rippling waves of the water. "We think it's about time we find somebody for you. It could really improve your happiness, John."

John groaned. Not this talk again. "I am perfectly fine with the place I'm in now, and I'd rather not have you meddle around in it."

George shook his head. "You've been very distant, and it's rare you find interest in anybody."

John grumbled underneath his breath. "I'm fine. Promise. Just let me do this by myself, okay?" He didn't even wait for a confirmation from George. He turned and walked back home. He only wanted to be alone, is that seriously too much to ask? Yet, he forgot quite a huge gap in this idea. The Washingtons were very, very, very... very persistent. 

 

Back at the house, John only had 10 minutes to bathe in luxury. The family returned and poured into the house as they chased away the silence with chattering and giggling. Perfect, just perfect.

"Who's ready for dinner!?" Martha called, and the chatter instantly started to rise in volume.

John sighed and shut the book he had been reading, tossing it to the side, and getting up. The couch was actually incredibly comfortable and he had nearly fallen asleep. The words the book had to offer were too bland for his taste, so he was pretty close to losing focus anyway. 

Martha stepped into the kitchen to get the food she had spent all day preparing. John's stomach snarled and begged for food once the scent reached his nose. The best food always belonged to the one and only, Martha Washington. 

Everyone filed into the dining room and sat down at the table, and John let out another disappointed sigh. UGGHHHH, SOCIAL INTERACTION.

Alexander laughed quietly and passed by John. "Stop staring like an idiot and get something to eat." 

John blushed. Oh yeah, right, he forgot that eating was a thing for a second. 

Well, if he wanted food, there was always a catch. He set foot into the dining room, and did his best to shut his ears as he did so. He had to keep reminding himself that it was absolutely worth it for the food. 

He sat next to Peggy. "Hey," he greeted. 

Peggy tried to hold her laughter in, but she soon burst. "You look like a zombie, Jack."

John scoffed. A zombie? Oh, because he was tired and done with existing. Haha, that's funny, Peggy.

John scooped some corn and slid it onto his plate, and then passed the bowl to Peggy. "There you go."

Peggy smiled and took it, but glanced up once Thomas had started to make another commotion. 

Thomas had literally gone out of his way to stand on his chair, and John had to take a sip of water from his glass and pretend he wasn't witnessing this. 

"Everybody!" Thomas declared, the talking dropping into hushed whispers, then complete silence. "I wanted to take this time to appreciate my beloved boyfriend, Lexie." He motioned to the man sitting next to him, who awkwardly shrunk in his seat. 

John nearly spat out his drink. Okay Thomas, we get it! You love your boyfriend! Now can we move the fuck on? He's clearly embarrassed! Oh, John only wished that he could speak his inner thoughts out loud. 

"Hey guys.." John spoke up. "Does anyone want corn?" He displayed the steaming bowl of corn for everyone to see, and they all just awkwardly stared at him. They all had the same thought channeling through their minds. John's distraction was a thousand times better than having to listen to Thomas, but it was still horrible. John's gaze flicked to Alexander, who honestly looked slightly relieved. 

Thomas cleared his throat and spoke again. "Anyway, as I was saying, I-"

"This corn is like an angel," John whispered dreamily. Again, awkward silence, but Alexander was trying to hide his smirk underneath the palm of his hand. John couldn't help but feel proud. He got Alexander to laugh.

Thomas sighed and sat back down in his chair, thank goodness, but he still wasn't finished with his fucking speech.

"Anyway, Lexie and I-" 

John noticed that Alexander's smile instantly tipped downwards at the nickname. Aha! The two wires in his brain finally connected. It was so painfully obvious. 

"Thomas?" John asked innocently.

"Yes?" Thomas responded, clearly annoyed that his open love confession was interrupted once again. 

"Maybe if you really loved your boyfriend, you'd call him by the nickname he's comfortable with."

 

John was left to rinse all the dishes because he had apparently "hurt Thomas's feelings", and "it was not appropriate to say at the table". Ah, nothing is as perfect as doing all the family chores because you spoke up for what you believe in. 

He was trying to scrub off a speck of food on one of the plates, when the plate was pulled from his grip. He inwardly groaned when he saw Thomas in the corner of his vision. 

"Thought you'd want some help," he spoke, finishing John's work on the plate.

"Thanks," John mumbled. His fingers were wrinkly from working so much on that singular one. 

Thomas went silent for a long while, and then his voice finally piped up. "Thanks for pointing that out earlier, John. I could tell that Alex felt better once I had called him something different."

"Don't mention it." John sighed. Seriously, please don't. He was already doing these dishes because he had totally killed the mood, and he was ready to go back to his motel.

Thomas lined up the dishes in the dishwasher rack. "You know, John? Alex gives me a really weird feeling.. But in a good way!" he corrected. "Like, I can't stop thinking about him, and I adore everything about him, and.."

John vigorously scrubbed at a glass, taking all of his anger out on it. "That your heart races whenever you come in contact or even look at him? And that you wake up every single day and want to give him every bit of happiness you can? To be able to keep him forever and spend the very rest of your life with him?" he muttered, practically spitting out the words towards the end.

"Yeah! Exactly!" Thomas exclaimed, eyes lighting up. "Er.. what is that feeling?"

John practically slammed the glass into the dishwasher rack, swearing he could hear a cracking sound. It was either the glass or his heart, and honestly, either was equally possible. 

"Love, Thomas. That feeling is love."


	8. A Series of Totally Gnarly Events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HEAVY NOTE! This chapter gets.. slightly smutty? Liv encouraged me to keep that part, so.. please don't hurt me. Also, the chapter name is dedicated to her too. And my surfer speak. 
> 
> John gets himself in a lot of trouble, and Peggy starts to expect what's up.

It was another day, back at the Washingtons' house. John was completely thrilled. Which was obviously sarcastic. Now, he totally understand Angie's wishes to go back home. He felt sick to his stomach even thinking about Alexander, but surprise, he was constantly echoing in his brain and involved with every single one of his thoughts. 

Today, they had the crazy idea of doing an early morning dance routine. John was not good at dancing. No way, no how. Sure, his body could move, but it was memorizing moves that he was at fault with.

"Come on, John! You've got to come!" Peggy whined, tugging at John's jacket sleeve. 

John was in the middle of eating a bowl of Cheerios, and just because of Peggy, spilled milk and tiny bits of cereal ended up on the front of his shirt. He swallowed the remaining cereal in his mouth, and then pouted. "Hold on! Breakfast comes first, or else I'll die of starvation." He snagged a paper towel and dried the front of his shirt, dunked his cereal bowl in the sink, and then reluctantly let Peggy lead him outside. 

As John's doubts had turned out, this routine was a living nightmare. He had no idea how to synchronize with everyone else. 

They all matched each other perfectly as if they had been doing this for years and years. 

He stood apart from Peggy to give her room, and as he looked up, he felt heat rising to his face.

Alexander was right in front of him. And he had the best possible view of his ass, and it especially didn't help that he was wearing yoga pants. 

Peggy snorted and shoved John playfully. "Quit daydreaming and dance! It's fun! Just copy me." She started to follow everybody else, giving John an encouraging grin. 

John groaned. "Okay, I get it." He started to copy Peggy's motions, but wasn't at all with the group. He looked miserable and didn't fit in with them at all.

"See!? You're doing it!" Peggy shouted with a bright grin, but John didn't see it. He was too distracted by what was in front of him rather than next to him. 

John choked back disappointment when the song ended, because Thomas had gripped Alexander into a hug and they both started to stretch together. Everyone else hurried inside to get more food, leaving just the three of them. Oh, and Laf, who was giving John a smirk.

"What!?" John shouted, brushing his hand through his hair to try and calm his blush down.

"Oh, nothing~" Laf sang, smiling innocently and going back indoors.

John's stomach sank to his feet, it felt like. What if Laf knew? Was it obvious that he liked Alexander? He sure hoped not. He pushed his shock back into the depths of his mind where they belonged, but they just kept surfacing. He was worried. Thomas would actually kill him if he knew.

John went around the house to the front yard. Maybe he could take the car and slip away, and nobody would notice. Good, he just wanted to disappear right now and it all would be okay. 

Peggy surprised John by leaping onto his back, and he yelped. "John! John! Pip and Theo want to go somewhere! Could you take us? Pleeeaaaase?" she begged.

John's first answer was 'no', but then another thought came to mind in time. This would be a good opportunity to get away. 

Philip and Theodosia stared at John with wide and questioning eyes. Of course he couldn't say no anyway. Philip was his best buddy, since they were the only ones in the family with freckles. 

"Alright. Fine," John gave in. 

The three kids all cheered and they got into the car, and John got into the driver's seat. Where would they even go to? 

That's when he noticed Alexander in the mirror. He was just staring at John from the front of the house. John hid his face behind the steering wheel. Maybe if he disappeared, Alexander would, too. He started to drive very slowly, then gradually got faster as the house shrunk smaller and smaller, then out of sight. 

"Let's go do fun things, guys." John smiled, getting less tense. There wasn't much to do in this town, but John had a mental bulleted list of things that he personally liked to do in this town.

First stop? The bowling alley. They all got out of the car and raced to the door to get shelter from the fierce wind. 

Philip stopped grinning once he started to read the sign on the front door. He was about 6, and just beginning to read, and damn was he good at it. "Cl..o..s..ed.." He carefully sounded it out. "Closed? Peggy, what does that mean?"

Peggy crouched down next to Philip. "Well, it means that we can't go bowling today," she explained, giving a sympathetic frown while doing so. 

Theodosia's chin wavered. "But I wanted to go bowling.." she whimpered. 

Peggy tickled her sides, and her frown immediately widened into a grin. "Hey!"

Peggy grinned. "Cheer up, there's always more we could do. How about the lighthouse? It's not too far."

"Good idea, Pegs," John complimented, giving her a high five. She was really good with kids, from what he could tell. Maybe because she acted pretty young for her age, but he didn't know. Peggy was insane in her own way.

They all walked in a clustered group towards the beach, Peggy holding on to Philip and Theo's hands. 

They finally got there in about seven minutes, and unfortunately, they couldn't go to the water. The wind was blowing and tossing the sand about, and he didn't want to have to deal with crying children because it got in their eyes.

He walked them to the dead grass, which was closer to the lighthouse building anyway.

John took this as a good opportunity to be a teacher to these young kids, who had zero idea with what would hit them once they got older. 

"Kids, this lighthouse represents how our life works. The light guides us, even with how dark it can get at times." He pointed to a couple of sailboats that were further out. "When it's stormy and dark, that tiny light will be your source of safety and comfort, and once you finally reach it, there's always a good outcome. You know, unless your ship totally crashes and sinks, and you're left to drown in the ice cold ocean, but you know what? It doesn't matter." John grinned sadly.

Philip and Theo looked purely confused. Peggy was worried. "John? Are you okay?" she asked softly, buttoning up the yellow sweater she was wearing. "That didn't sound.. like you.." 

John scoffed, "Yeah, I'm fine, let's go." He started to head back the way they had come from, leaving Peggy, Philip, and Theo with no choice but to follow.

"Peggy? What's wrong with him?" Philip asked, worry evident in his eyes. 

Peggy squeezed the smaller boy's hand in her own. "He's sad, Pip.." she answered honestly. "And I don't know why."

 

Eventually, they all got back, and Liza and Angie were frantically searching the front yard.

Philip and Theo hopped out of the car, followed by Peggy and John. "Did you guys have fun?" he asked.

"No," they both answered, and were instantly whisked away by Liza and Angie. "Where were you guys?!" Liza asked. "We've been looking for them for hours!"

John frowned guiltily. "Sorry.. we were on a trip, and-" 

He realized Angie and Liza weren't even listening to him, just getting into an argument with Peggy instead. 

John had one more thing left to do before he went back to his room. It was something he should've done since the beginning. He went inside, and went upstairs to find Alexander.

 

John found Alexander in the bathroom, studying his face in the mirror. He was smoothing his hands over his chin, and John assumed he was wondering what to do about the scruff on his face. John shut the door behind him, and Alexander got startled, whipping around and facing him. "Oh, it's just you. Hey, Laurens, what's up?"

John inhaled deeply and sighed. "I need you to leave."

Alexander glanced at his reflection, then back at John. "Leave..?" he asked, clearly wanting John to further elaborate. 

"Just... leave! My life! I can't get you out of my mind and it's driving me insane!" John ran his fingers through his hair, really stressed.

Alexander stared at John for a long moment with a solid expression, and then burst into laughter, trying to hide his smile underneath his hand.

"What? What's so funny?" John asked. "No, Alex, I mean it. I can't live with you existing. Here. With me."

Alexander just continued to laugh, his cheeks starting to shade in with light pink.

His laughter was too contagious. John started to smile, throwing his idea of this serious talk out the window. 

Suddenly, there was a pounding knock at the door. John immediately recognized who was there, having memorized the three sisters' different styles of entering.

John panicked and glanced around as he looked for a hiding place, then stepped into the shower. It was the only place in this cramped bathroom.

Alexander snickered at John, then opened the door. "Hello? Angie, hey!" He grinned brightly.

Angelica folded her arms. "Hey, Alex.. uh, I was sort of wondering if I could ask you something? Some friendly advice?" 

Alexander nodded. "Oh, yeah, absolutely!" He let Angie in and then shut the door after her.

Angelica sat on top of the lid of the toilet seat. "So.. I know you're quite an adventurer and all, and I was thinking.." She glanced suspiciously at the shower, and Alexander protectively stood in front of it to cover any evidence of John's presence. 

"Um.. yeah?" Alexander played with the hem of his shirt, a nervous tick of his. 

Angelica bit her lip. "You can take a shower, you know. Sorry if I intruded in on that."

Alexander laughed. "Right, right!"

Angelica frowned. "So.. aren't you gonna turn the water on?" 

Alexander hesitated, and John could picture the look on his face. First, looking sorry to actually be doing something so horrible, and second, that way he always covered his mouth whenever he smiled and laughed. 

John shook his head frantically as he saw Alexander's hand slip into the shower, reaching for the handle. His grasp tightened on it, and then he pulled it. The shower head sprinkled heavily over John, and he sighed shakily. The water was freezing and he didn't appreciate that he was wearing fucking clothes. They clamped onto his body and felt way heavier than they had been before. 

John heard Angie continue talking as he shivered, teeth chattering as he desperately waited for the water to get warmer.

"I just want to do so much with my life, but I'm not sure if my sisters would be stable without me, and I need to get a better job first. I just think it would be so much better if.." She paused again, and now John was digging his fingernails into his hands to focus on something besides the hotter water. It didn't feel nice at all. He knew how cold he'd get as soon as he got out of the shower, and he tried to cling on to this feeling for as long as he could. Happy thoughts, John. Go to your happy place.

Angie spoke again. "You can get in, I won't look." 

John watched with horror as Alexander's silhouette behind the shower curtain began to strip down to his socks. 

Then, John was even more horrified as Alexander actually stepped into the shower with him. Don't look down, John. Whatever you do, don't look down. 

Alexander started to snicker and he grinned devilishly at John from behind his hand. 

At this point, John wished his clothes were off even more than he had since he got in here. He knew better though, and he fumbled behind him for something to cover his eyes with. He heard Angie rambling again, and he was trying to be as quiet as possible. 

He placed a soggy towel over his eyes, and he heard Alexander snickering even more. This isn't funny, Alex! 

He fumbled again to blindly search for the window lock. He felt something- was that it? He hesitantly enclosed his fingers around it, his face heating up as red as a fucking cherry as he realized what it actually was. Nope. That was definitely not the window lock. 

"John, just open your eyes," Alexander whispered. "And now is not the best time to grope me," he teased.

"Fuck you," John murmured back, locating the actual window lock and flicking it open. 

"Sure, what time?" Alexander replied nonchalantly. 

"You know what I meant!" John hissed, and he removed the towel from his eyes. He avoided eye contact and carefully swung leg out the window, then the other, and let go. He rolled down the roof, and then crashed into the bushes beneath. Aren't avoiding situations fun?


	9. A Lucky Guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John winds up in the worst situation possible, and he is planning on how to change it. Short chapter, guys.

How did John wind up in this position? He had no idea. Maybe he had too much to drink, because he barely had an idea as to why the hell he was here in bed with some girl. Alright, alright, time to rewind from the very very beginning. 

 

John had woken up that morning, brushed his teeth, all the casual things. Then he drove over to the Washington's, dreading finding out what was planned for the day.

Well, he absolutely should've been. One, poor Alexander probably hated him for what he had mistakeningly done the previous day. Two, he had no idea what the family was planning.

He found the hidden spare key inside the birdbath by the door, and he inserted it into the key slot. He twisted and turned it, and he really should've waited an extra moment more, because today was going to be a terrible day if he stepped one singular foot into that house. But John was stupid and oblivious to what the future held, so of course he did so. 

Martha had ran up and patted John on the back, slipping her miniature hand into his. She looked way too excited, and it triggered a lot of John's suspicions. 

"Martha? Wh-" He was tugged along instantly, jerking the words back into his head where they had come from. So many other words had wanted to come up. For example, 'what the fuck is going on?', and 'please let me die and suffer in peace', to name a few. 

Martha sat John down at the counter, and George and Thomas were right across from him. Martha happily stood next to John. She wasn't even as tall as he was, simply sitting on a stool.

"Alright, I'm lost. What are you guys setting me up for?" John questioned, folding his arms and trying to look as disinterested as possible. 

"Do you remember miss Maria Reynolds?" George asked with a raised brow. 

"Um.." John racked his brain. It did sound familiar, but from where? Oh! "Doesn't she live around here?" 

George nodded, Thomas flashing a stupid grin. "You bet!"

"Well.. what about her?" John asked. 

"We set you up on a date with her. You're going with me and Alex." Thomas smirked.

John's world closed up around him. Fuck. Please no. Anything but this. 

"Aww, he looks so shocked! Thomas! Your idea worked!" Martha cheered.

John wanted to curl up into a ball like a pillbug and cease to exist. "Oh... great..." he weakly choked, his lips tightening into a thin line. How was he supposed to express gratitude, exactly? Going on a date with a girl he barely knew, along with Alexander and his boyfriend? Everyone knew that John was as straight as a rainbow. This wasn't going to work, no matter what happened.

"She's coming at eight o'clock, so we have to get you ready and cleaned up, sweetheart." Martha grinned brightly.

John sighed, burying his face into his hands. This was going to be the longest night of his life. 

"Aren't you a lucky guy, Laurens?" Thomas beamed.

John sighed. "I really am, aren't I?" he replied flatly. If anything, it was Thomas that was the luckiest. He had Alexander right at his side. You couldn't get any luckier than that.


	10. I Can't Say No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JOHN REALLY REALLY REALLY SCREWS UP  
> This chapter is also sorta iffy so beware

It was time to leave. John felt even more dreadful and salty than usual. Martha had repetitively begged him to give Maria a rose, and so here he was at the front door, a ruby red rose clutched in his hand. His usual messy curls were neatly tied back behind his head. 

Thomas and Alexander were hand in hand, though John could see that Alexander kept sneaking glances at him. He hoped that it was in a good way, rather than in a bad way. He felt like he was naked in front of everyone, because he was pinned underneath all the attention for once. This was a spot that he did not want to be in.

A couple minutes later, a light knock was heard at the door. Alexander opened it. "Hey. I'm assuming you're Maria?"

Thomas was stuck with that signature cocky stupid grin. He really thought he had done something great today.

The woman at the door was in a vibrant red dress, her wavy auburn hair cascading down her shoulders. Her lips were a cherry color from lipstick, and her eyelashes were pretty long. It was a definite change from how John had remembered her.

"Yes, that's me.. Is John here?"

John's stomach turned to ice. Philip nudged John's leg. "Go for it. What are you waiting for?" He smiled up at him, unaware of all the distress he was in.

John cleared his throat and stepped into view. "Hey, Maria.." 

Maria gasped. "John? You're so different..." She looked over him, and her gaze tracked the rose in his hand. "Is that for me?"

John held it out to her. "Um, yeah, yes.. it is.." He hoped she wouldn't take it so intensely, but she did. 

"You know roses are a sign of romance, Laurens." Maria smiled sweetly and stuffed the rose behind her ear so that it popped out from her hair. "It also happens to be my favorite color."

John glanced at Alexander, his heart cracking when he saw the slight hurt in his eyes. He knew that flowers were their thing.

John wanted to smother Alexander in apologies, but he couldn't. Not right now. 

"I guess I'm just smart today. May we go?" John asked, politely offering his hand. 

Maria firmly gripped onto his hand. "Yes please." She led him out the door, and he could tell that Thomas and Alexander were right in their footsteps. 

 

Once they arrived at the bar, each couple sat next to each other. John looked over the menu, just wanting to be engaged in something other than this situation.

Maria was talking about her ex-husband. His name was James Reynolds. "It's been really hard without him.." Maria sniffled. "I know he's done so much to me... but after we met, I was in love with him after three days. You just know." She began to weep, and 

John's eyes flicked to the other two for help. This was extremely uncomfortable. 

Alexander frowned. "I'm sorry, Maria." He briefly winked at John to show that he got this from here. "That must be hard." 

Maria sniffled and nodded, and then she instantly perked up, like she hadn't even had a breakdown right then and there. "Ooh, I love this song! John, could we please dance?"

John had to actually pay attention to hear the restaurant's background music. Sure enough, it was there. "I.." he started, but Thomas finished for him. "He'd love to!" 

John shot him a glare. Thomas should especially know how he felt about dancing. 

Maria grabbed John's hand and led him to a space where it wasn't so crowded, and began to sway. She was making a few gestures that John didn't think were very appropriate at all, and he was getting pretty flustered.

Alexander seemed to be alert to John's pain, because he dragged Thomas out with him too, and so now the four of them were awkwardly dancing in the middle of the restaurant. 

John was really confused at this moment as to why his life was actually a living nightmare. He just let it happen, though. It could be worse.. it could be worse.. 

He was right. What worse thing could possibly happen did happen. Maria offered to drive the three home, and they all agreed. 

She dropped off Thomas and Alexander, and as soon as they had gotten further away enough, Maria turned and tugged John's bottom lip with her teeth. "You're coming with me." 

John had a lot to drink. A LOT to drink. Just to dodge the place he was in. It worked effectively enough, until the one flaw in his plan. Right now, he was unaware of what was happening. "Alright," John slurred with half-lidded eyes. Alexander wasn't here to save him this time.

Maria drove him to her house, and took him inside. "You're okay with this, right, John?" she asked, sweet and innocently.

John was dizzy, and unfortunately, his drunken thoughts had tied with his sober ones. All he could think of was Alexander. Alexander, Alexander, Alexander... As far as he was concerned, this was Alexander right here. "Yes. I am." John brushed his lips by Maria's. 

Maria smirked, passionately stamping her lips to his and smoothing her hands from his hips to his shoulders. 

John's mouth moved with Maria's, and she tightly looped her arms around him and dragged him to her bedroom. She slammed and locked the door behind them, and kept him close as she laid down against the bed, with him leaning over her. The rest is history. 

 

 

John's mind was fuzzy, but his memory was speeding back to him, hitting him right in the head with a hangover. His cheeks went bright red and his eyes stung with tears. Not from the pain, but for letting himself do something so reckless. That wasn't   
supposed to happen, and yet, here he was. Well, guess it's time to kiss your virginity goodbye, John. 

He glanced at Maria and winced as he saw how shredded and crumpled the rose in her hair had gotten. Damn, what the hell even happened? He couldn't think right now. He felt like he had betrayed Alexander in a way, for letting this happen. Even if they weren't even dating. He got up out of bed and didn't spare another glance at Maria, slipping his discarded clothes back on. It was like playing a find and search game. He had a raging headache, but he had to get home. He wrote a quick note out to Maria with an apology for leaving so soon, and he left. Walking all the way home. And puking a couple times on the way, but hey, you gotta get home somehow. 

 

John entered the kitchen, where everyone else was. They all were happily eating pancakes, and Alexander was the one responsible for making them.

Thomas's eyes widened when he saw John. "Woah. You don't look so good. Did things get intense last night?" He smirked and wiggled his eyebrows. 

John felt too sick to even get mad. He knew he was looking pretty disheveled. "Shush. I'm fine," he whispered.

Philip went up to John and beamed, a ring of syrup around his lips. "Alex makes the best pancakes ever! You need to have one!" 

John didn't want to eat, but anything as payback for Alexander. He ruffled the smaller boy's curls, and then sat down next to Peggy at the counter.

Alexander shot a glare full of hatred at John. John felt his heart shatter for the fiftieth time. Alexander knew what happened.

Alexander slid a pancake onto Peggy's plate, and then after a few seconds, he slammed a burnt pancake onto John's plate without even looking at him.

John sighed, cutting a piece of pancake and chewing it, trying not to wince at the taste. It was really crunchy. Maybe it would be a good pancake, if it had been in a competition for roasting them over a campfire..

Soon, people had started to leave the room, including Alexander. All who was left were Peggy and himself. 

Peggy scooted closer to John, frowning at him sympathetically. "I'm so sorry.." She placed her hand over his. "Last night was tough, wasn't it?" 

John nodded at the slightest. He didn't want to talk about it. Yet, his throat was tightening like he was about to cry. Oh Peggy, if only you knew.


End file.
